On Wednesday 8th April I was
going about my usual day – procrastinating from doing some uni work when for
some reason I felt inspired to go on the job hunt. I’m due to graduate in less
than three months after all so it’s about time I started looking.
I sent my CV to some local jobs and within an hour, I had one reply.
‘Great, I must be really employable,’ I
thought.
It was from a company in Newcastle for an
Event Marketing position. I had no idea what that meant, but I’m a pretty
sociable person; I like going to events so what could go wrong?
I gave her a call and it went to voicemail,
not wanting to miss out on this amazing opportunity I emailed back asking her
to call me instead.
“Our manager has seen your CV and we’re
think you’re perfect. We want you to come in for an interview tomorrow.”
Eeek tomorrow? I already had plans so I
rearranged for Friday 10th April and felt pretty chuffed with myself.
She sent a follow up email with details of
when and where to go – no preparation needed but I did some anyway, I wanted to
show them I was keen.
When I attended the interview I was a bit
surprised to find it was in a hotel bar. Rowdy with a group of hens on one side
and youngish lads on the other, it seemed a bit out of place for a job
interview.
He asked me a few questions; what makes me
happy, where I want to be in five years and if I were a superhero, what would
my special power be. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realised he didn’t
actually explain the job to me.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#1
That night I was eagerly waiting a phone
call to hear if I’d be successful and as a matter of fact, I’d been invited
back for the second round on Monday 13th April.
The office, situated on a street full of
run down shops and greasy takeaways was a little door leading up to the second
floor room. There were no company logos anywhere; the office was just a desk
and a plant.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#2
I filled in a form about what I wanted from
the job. I blurted out words like confidence and motivation – still unsure of
the actual job so just hoping I was writing the appropriate words.
Next to me was another guy going for the
same position, I instantly felt rivalry - he was some 30-year-old guy in a suit
talking about his Sunday league football and there I was; just a little
21-year-old hoping to get her first big-girl job.
We were taken off to separate rooms to meet
our ‘mentors’ and headed off to Blyth until 6.30pm – hold on, I was told this
would be a brief meeting that would take no longer than an hour?
When we arrive Mr Mentor takes me to a cafe.
‘This is where he’s going to explain the
job to me,’ I thought.
Nope.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#3
He had me writing down ten strengths about
myself and why. Okay, fair enough – this is a chance for me to really show off.
After that I had to write down ten of my
weaknesses. I wanted to show that I was a strong person, perfect for the role
with not too many weaknesses so I rattled off four pages about how I’m a worrier
and picky at times.
When I was finished I went to find him – on
the streets with an iPad pestering someone about their gas and electricity
bills.
‘Uh oh, is this the job? How am I going to
tell all my friends that my glamourous event job is just asking people
questions on the street?’
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#4
In another cafe he had me writing down
positives and negatives about different types of advertising along with where I
want to be in five years and ten years time. I drew some pretty awesome
pictures to back this up so I’m pleased with that one.
Once that was over, he went through the job
with me – finally!
Okay, the job? It’s a set of six stages
that you complete in anywhere between 2 weeks and 6 months. The higher
you progress, the more you earn.
Wow, money – I’d love £300 a week. I’m
interested.
The hours are 8am-6.15pm Monday-Saturday.
Great, still no actual clear explaining and
now he’s got me learning the companies mottos off by heart.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#5
The cafe owner asked what we were up to –
spending all day in there along with a notepad, of course he was going to
wonder what was going on. Mr Mentor was shady about answering and used words
that I didn’t understand so there was no chance Mr Cafe Owner would.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#6
Now he takes me onto the street and I have
to watch him pester a few more people while they hurriedly run in the opposite
direction. It’s also freezing cold.
Next task – the café has shut so I’ve been
left on a bench in a shopping centre jotting down the strengths a manager has. THEN
(yes it carries on) I had to pick five out of my 40 and write a meaning and an
example me being this.
It’s the end of the day, the shops are shut
but there’s one more thing I have to do – I have to write a closing statement
about why I’m right for the company and vice versa. Mr Mentor described it as
the X Factor but I would describe it as a big fat scam and my finger really
hurts because I’ve written over 25 pages.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#7
When we get back to the
office-with-only-a-desk-and-a-plant I’m thrusted another clipboard in my face and
have to fill out an exam style questionnaire with their mottos, working habits,
and the definition of fancy-pancy words they use to look cool.
Next comes the final interview. I’m sat in
a big room with a side door that keeps on bursting open with Beyonce is
blasting. It looks like the other workers are having a party – is this trying
to show me that this job is full of fun?
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#8
The big boss from the first interview sits
me down and I suddenly feel a bit strange – almost patronized but I ignore it –
what do I know about interviews, anyway, this is my first one!
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#9
He asks about my day and I lie and say I
had fun and got a real insight into the job.
Why am I lying? I can’t seem to think of
anything else to say.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice #10
He asks me how I think I’d be at the job.
And by job if you mean asking people to fill in my survey – then what’s hard
about that?
I didn’t want to be rude and say it was the
easiest (but most boring) job in the world so I rattled off a few more keywords
about confidence and being approachable etc.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#11
Mr Mentor comes in, he’s very red faced and
embarrassed for some reason. Mr Big Boss says they’ve decided that I need a bit
more experience but in a few weeks I’d be the perfect candidate.
Cue a few awkward silences and he proposes
a ‘one-off’ deal – he’ll give me a job if I promise to put in all my effort and
work as hard as I can.
Also, I start tomorrow. TOMORROW.
But hold on, how does Mr Mentor know I’d
need a few weeks to build my confidence. He didn’t see me running around after
people in the streets. He just saw me sat at a table with a cup of tea
sprawling out my life story for six hours.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#12
Woohoo! I have a job! I phoned my mum
straight away. She didn’t sound over the moon, but I hadn’t told her about the
wages and progressing through the ranks yet – she’d get excited then I’m sure.
On the train home, I suddenly get this
feeling of worry and I’m on the brink of tears but I have no idea why.
What happened? I was so pleased, I have a
job – I should count myself lucky!
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#13
When I get home, I’m beside myself with
worry.
How am I going to finish my uni work? This
is the most important part and there’s only five weeks left.
How will I find time to wind down from work
and see my friends and family? I’ll be out the house from 7am-7pm everyday. Six
days a week.
How am I going to tell my friends that I
think my job is doing surveys in the street? I’m still not sure though because
even though I’m due to start in 12 hours, all my questions about it were
diverted.
Alarm-Bell-I-Didn’t-Notice
#14
I quit the job before I even started.
Because I would have been self-employed I essentially just fired myself.
I was upset, but looking back at it now I’m
so relieved. If I’d have bitten the bullet and gone to the training days I’d
have had to pay back what I would have earned when I quit. Plus whatever else
they would have dwindled out of me.
It’s been an experience, one I’ll carry
forward for future interviews for proper jobs. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t
for me as I didn’t feel motivated or excited – my smiles were fake and I was
constantly checking my watch to see when it was home time.
I know, that when I get a job I actually
want I’ll feel excited and scream it from the rooftops but this ‘job’ I didn’t
want anyone to know about.
My message to you is trust your instincts.
These job scams look so tempting and if they sound too good to be true – they
probably are.
A fast track management course that could
have me earning £75,000 a year within eight months? No thanks, I’d rather keep
on looking.